Dear Stella,

Your comment was super encouraging. Thanks for that last sentence: “Just know you’re famous and you’re making a name for Gimbie.” I appreciate the complement, it’s encouraging too, but Stella, I want to be truly great.

Famous. Honestly? I’ve chosen to live in a muddy stagnate point some 7 degrees above the equator. Our friends are landing jobs that pay, starting grad school, celebrating weddings, attaining the Fulbright; and here? Here mediocrity and poverty reign. People don’t have shoes to wear. No one I know has a bank account. I wonder if there is a word meaning “save” in the Oromo language. People are afraid of fresh air, think it is manly not to drink water, and discriminate and reject people (and even children) with HIV even though they know it’s not transmittable via the air. We pray for rain because if it does not come neither does our food. The electricity is off every other day and it is super expensive for the hospital to run off of our gas powered generator. Tell me, where’s the popularity in that?

Last night I couldn’t sleep. I think the tea I drank at our 4th of July party was caffeinated. I thought about the future, specifically, my future. I mapped out every possible option and where it would lead: Spain to Boston to a Master of Science degree in Human Service Policy by age 25, or Chattanooga to Spain to Austin with a Master’s in Communication at 26, or Atlanta to Austin with a PH.D by 30. I want to be great, Stella, mud-free and making a difference.

Here at Gimbie, I answer emails, post some notes on Facebook, make sure guests have a bed made and a cook lined up, plan 4th of July parties, write snapshots about patients and happenings that probably skew the true picture of the hospital, and dream about a future of greatness.

I wonder if the greatness I seek—education, travel and broad life experience—is truly greatness. Am I just chasing sanctioned expectations and societal myths dubbed as greatness? What does true greatness look like? How do or will I know when I have attained it? Are greatness and simplicity opposites? Do fame and greatness always cohabitate? To attain one do I have to give up the other?

Most days I cherish my simplistic life: story time with 3 year-old Jonah, card games by candle light with friends, a diet of local unprocessed foods, raising support for our needy hospital, befriending orphan boys, singing with a Sister from the Catholic mission down the street, morning runs and morning devotions, a good book with tea, making bagels and guava sauce with my neighbors. It is great when we value the simple basic things in life.

The difference, I suppose, between the greatness of the famous and the greatness of the simplistic is not that one does and the other does not. On the contrary, both do much but they do differently. The greatness of the famous calls one to do things, expectations, meetings, style, money. However, the greatness of the simplistic beckons the heart and grows the mind. It focuses on people, quality time, and service of others.

I like living abroad, Stella, because I feel like the latter greatness is simpler to attain than in the States. I think it’s easier to adapt John the Baptist’s great attitude of “He must increase, I must decrease” (John 3:30) whilst living in a developing country. It’s so easy to forget about many of the great people who lived before us. They are recognized for their sacrifice. Who today asks themselves “what can I sacrifice” on their quest to become great? Honestly, not me.

Recently I’ve read the book Uprising by Erwin McManus. He talks about wholeness, generosity, faith, gratitude, love, responsibility all aspects of being great. He writes some deep stuff. He clarifies sacrifice by saying “The goal is not so much to have less, but to give more” (p. 113). That blew my mind. It’s not about giving away what God has given us until we have nothing left. It’s about being a channel that passes on the blessings that flow from God.

I appreciate how McManus acknowledges responsibility in the equation. After meeting a smart guy from UCLA with much potential who thinks life is about paying bills he writes, “Those who have the privilege of a healthy upbringing and a great education have to embrace more responsibility than simply paying their bills. If it were within his reach to produce great wealth, to create jobs for the unemployed, to provide income so that meals could be put on a table, if he had been entrusted by God with the skills and capacity to improve the quality of life for hundreds, if not thousands, it would be sin for him to do anything less” (p. 167). That quote raises some other questions. Who is to say that deeply influencing one person is less, or inferior to influencing thousands? Is it possible to lead a life of simplistic greatness and influences thousands? I know Jesus did it but honestly, it doesn’t seem possible today.

“There is a place where very few of us ever aspire to go, where the measure of our worth is not how much we have, but how much we give” (p 156). Those that venture to that land are great, with or without fame.

Thanks for listening Stella. I’m praying for you and your students.
Eat some kim-chee for me!
TQM!
Renée